Lauryn Hill said it best, "it could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard. Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars."

I swear that's how I've been feeling with this whole Chief situation. We are in a relationship but I don't feel like it. I don't know, maybe it's the whe long distance thing so maybe it just takes time. Or maybe I haven't been in a relationship for so long that I'm clingy and expect relationship shit, and I shouldn't. I feel like I'm always mad at him, and I'm always scared he's just gonna walk away. I'm really feeling him, it's been four months now. I feel I Ike my feelings for him are growing and progressing a lot faster than his. But it may be because I'm such an emotional person and because im a female. I'm just going to be patient. It's not like I think he's cheating or so thing. I just feel like there could be more communication. He was just here this past weekend and man did I need that. I'm so glad my mom kept the kids the first night he came, because it was definitely on! I haven't seen him in like 2 months! Definitely got wild in here. Him and Bub get skinny so well. Bub really likes him. He met my mom and this weekend we are having a cookout for Muhammad's birthday and Chief is going to come so he can meet muhanmad. Things are progressing I can say that. I just need to be patient and progress at the rate it's supposed to. I just hope this is it. I'm so tired of finding the wrong men and getting messed over. I hate starting over especially when there is kids involved. Now that my kids are involved with chief I want to try and make this work. Let's just hope this isn't s relationship I have to force because I will not do that anymore. If I'm unhappy I'm leaving. I will not be miserable with a man ever again. So right now, the chemistry with chief and I is definitely there. There is nothing forced about it. You would think we were a couple who have been together for years. Thats how comfortable we are with each other. We are ourselves. I love it! ❤️