It bugs me when guys take advantage of a good girl. Like I had said before I am far from perfect, and ill be the first to tell you that. But one thing I will say, is if I love you, I'm going to give you 110%. And as much as I say I don't expect anything, I really do. Most females do. We expect the unexpected. Kind of like, I don't expect you to bring me flowers....but I want flowers. I want someone to think outside the box, be romantic and surprise me. But it isn't something I base my relationship on. Just love me, and love me in a way I know you love me. I shouldn't have to question it.
I have been in 3 "relationships" in my life, and honestly I don't know if I would even really call them relationships. It was basically three times of me thinking I was in love and going above And beyond to prove myself. But in all reality what was I really proving? That I was someone that was easy to take advantage of, and that's exactly what happened.
The first person I was with was to young to know about commitment, and that's the person I had my child with. The second person I was with showed me a lot of different things, and also showed how sheltered and naive I was. And the third person was very different from the other two. It's to late to go into detail about each of those relationships (which I will get into another time) but I can say for each person I dealt with a lot, and I was a great girl, but one feeling I can relate with all three was alone.
Sometimes I think I will be single forever, and sometime I think all guys are alike. But when my mind is clear, I know that isn't true. I know I will eventually find someone, but I need to love myself first before someone else can love me, and maybe explore other places outside of my town. Not just for love, I'm not desperate, but just for myself. So that I'm able to focus on my life, and not the life of someone else. I can't make someone see the good in me, and I can't make someone love me it just has to happen. So I will wait.... And finally I'm ok with that :) so until tomorrow..... Sweet dreams!
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