All over the place......

Wellllll....... I know last time I wrote, I talked about a guy that I've know for a long time. We were going to give it a try with the whole relationship thing...... Well I guess that's not going to work. Sometimes I tend to live in a Lala land when it comes to the idea of love. I don't think clearly and logically when it comes to the opposite sex. I tend to trust everyone, but I have to realize everyone is not like me. Especially when it comes to being in a relationship. I had a nice little talk with my YOUNGER brother lol we talked about how I continue to deal with the same kind of people, and how I keep getting the same thing I've always gotten. I push really nice people to the side because they are not like the guys I'm used to. He told me it was time to do something different. I'm in such a great place in my life right now, compared to how crazy my life has been the last year, and I don't need to go back. I've been in a verbally abusive relationship, I've been cheated on repeatedly, and I always blame it on everyone else but it's me to. I have to take responsibility for allowing people to treat me that way. Ever since I broke up with my ex,  I've been constantly trying to work on myself, myself esteem, self image, everything. I was broken, and I hate to even admit that but I was. I had hit rock bottom. But luckily my family was very supportive and luckily I know that I need to be in a good place mentally for my son. He is the reason I get through everything. So now that I'm at a poit where I'm happy with myself, I feel like I'm able to share that with someone. I'm glad I took the time to be single, because I was able to find myself again. So now I'm going to be more open. And I will not set myself up like I have been doin since I was 14 years old! I know what I need and deserve and I will not accept anything less than that. I know it sounds cliche but it's true  and I mean it.  I know it seems like I'm all over the place with my emotions.... And I kind of am but as long as I dont let it get to a point where it puts me in a predicament like I was in before, I think I'll be ok. I can't help my mind goes a mile a minute.